it is the most unexpected encounters that are the best
the ones that take you completely by surprise and knock you off course
only to find that the new course before you holds so much more than you thought was possible than when you were on your original path
they literally open your eyes and suddenly.... life is great again
it is no longer a life of drudgery
but of vibrant colors, endless choices and possibilities
all it takes is one chance encounter to make life seem worth living again
eagerness to know more, do more fills your time again
my eyes have opened
and I don't know if, with this new understanding, i can go back to the way things were
i know more.. i want to do more.. experience everything there is to experience
meet people.. explore the world
every so often I have a revelation.. an epiphany perhaps
taking me ever further from my past goals and dreams
whether this is a good thing or bad i really have no idea..
all i know is I'm changeable and i can't change that..
i wouldn't want to change that even if i could
vistas appear, doors close
there is no exit, there is only the opportunity to move forward
to make the most of the choices presented and the life that you are given
I intend to.... despite the consequences that may occur
chance encounters and unknown vistas
a concentrated phenomenon based on vague motives
life seems unreal lately...
a return to drifting through life with no real aims apart from immediate survival
a wake up (usually late), eat (sometimes), go to class, do the readings, watch stuff online, chat, go to sleep and then go on repeat.
I've become an adept at escaping from reality
essentially running away
at the end of the day that is where my concentration and consciousness lies... unreality
however, i have had a few revelations which may seem at odds with this unreal state:
i hate inward-thinking, the world is global ppl and we need to think beyond the tiny territory of comfort which we call home and realize that there is a big world out there holding many possibilities and opportunities to be experienced; only in such a way will we be able to break free from the prevailing stasis and starting moving forward.
we truly are an MTV society, where all we think about (in relation to the rest of the world) are parties, drinking and drugs.
There is a real lack of awareness to worldwide events. Thinking that if it doesn't affect you directly it doesn't matter is wrong and you will probably be proved wrong to the detriment of society.
Even in my fog of unreality i realize and stretch my awareness..
haha u could say my consciousness stretches across dimensions.. (geeky =S)
I wanna get out there... i wanna live my life... i wanna stretch my boundaries and go beyond my comfort zone..
who's joining me? =p
-dissatisfaction is the state of the day-
suspended between heartbeats
profundity can be found anywhere.. especially in the unlikeliest places:
Another long night, lost in your e-mails,
Alone in the room, with nothing but the screen's glare,
Feeling happy and sad at the same time,
There's nothing to do but let the hours fly by.
I've watched the same drama unfold so many times,
Today kinda...feels like i'm watching it again,
The instant you started smiling was when the new story began,
But i know the days will still be full of uncertainty and apprehension,
So open up your eyes and replace your loneliness with something more,
Find your lost bravery and hold it up high!
1 week of uni.. 9 more to go... torture!
Summer's end/an exercise in the written word
In the shimmering distance the heat makes itself visible; in the beads of sweat that spring up as we step out of the car it is felt. It builds within the loosely wound billows of my headscarf, prompting any perspiration to succumb to gravity. The shade of an opened umbrella offers little relief, the humidity so great it feels as if I am breathing through a damp towel. I step through the cemetery, following the winding path upwards between gravestones and vegetation, at the center of a somber procession, which halts and gathers around the tombstones of my forefathers.
We settle into our makeshift seats among the marble and stone, unyielding against our flesh, testament to ages gone and ages to come. The crickets or grasshoppers sound all around us. The voices of others among the cemetery reach us, faintly but surely. It is that time, which for me signals the coming to an end of summer and my time in Brunei. Much as we are here to acknowledge the passing of life and ultimately time, before we celebrate its presence. Ustaz's sonorous chanting permeates the thick atmosphere, languidly spiralling upwards with the pungent smoke of incense; which winds its way up the stalks growing from the graves, over and beyond the blood red edges of its leaves. The passing of time seems as turbid as the air around us. I grow restless, the marble underneath me growing more uncomfortable by the minute. A cool breeze teases me and then is gone.
Prayers finished, we take turns to perform the last few rites, and make our way down and out of the cemetery breathing a sigh of relief as the cold air from the airconditioning in the car hits us and we rid ourselves of the binding scarves. The solemnity stays with me. In a few days I would be gone.
My last few days I engaged and reveled in the company of those most closest to me, and that one who is most dearest. Flying off was a goodbye to the physicality of my being. There were no tears, only sadness and the hope that we could hold on til my time here is at an end. Summer flashes in my head. Like undeveloped photos, that will never see the light of day but will remain forever. Good times. One last hug. One last kiss. One last touch, wave and glance.... and summer 2008 was officially over as I flew on wings to gray, murky climes and the shadowy future.
I look forward to the end of this year, and summer 2009, with great anticipation.
Fay ce que voudras. Do what you like. Do what you can. Whatever it takes.
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. =D
SANS logic
not feeling particularly articulate...
but the urge to blog is strong =p
so... what animal is this....??? coz no one has any idea.. =S haha
Stationary
Is time moving at all??
i swear it is because my holiday is passing me by at an alarming rate
however..... at times it doesn't seem to have moved at all!
For example, in the office.
Watching the clock obsessively, willing the hands to move faster(which they don't and instead seem to move slower), while I do what amounts to absolutely nothing for the workday.
Eyelids drooping in protest at the lack of sleep I had the previous night, I observe that it is nearly lunchtime and decide to head outside my dreary little cubicle (a testament to the utter lack of individuality here in Brunei) to make a call.
Only to be waylaid by the Permanent Secretary during the call and asked to enter his lair/office to peruse his collection of books. While I attempt to conduct a decent conversation with gum in my mouth. Honestly, I felt rude. Hope he doesn't mention that little detail to my dad.
Anyway, that brings me to another reason time seems to have not moved for me.
Daddy is still looking out for his baby girl. Even though she's 22 and is currently working at MFA on attachment.
How embarrassing.
Words cannot express the humiliation I felt that through the grapevine my dad found out that I got told I had to wear baju kurung instead of the smart clothes I was wearing and decided to call the Permanent Secretary to inquire as to whether there was a dress code at MFA, and informing him of the treatment I received. Which filtered down through the offices as they attempted to find who told me off so they could be told whats what. Why my dad is concerned over such a trivial matter is beyond me. The fact that this could mean my social death at the workplace probably did not even occur in his head. This is the stuff of nightmares. What will he do when I get a proper job?? =S
'Coming to my rescue' is indicative of how he still views me as his little baby and his interference in my workplace, which is certainly not welcome, demonstrates a need to let (and his problems with letting) go. =p
the 'rents have issues! haha =p
I really don't want to be seen as a little snobby princess wherever I go 'coz I'm not...! and i definitely do not go running to daddy over any little thing ..hmf...
oh yeah.. and how come I seem to be instantly recognizable on sight by anyone and everyone???? Its actually annoying 'coz sometimes I just have no idea who they are but they know who i am. Sux.
Being bored to death. Craving sleep and cuddles. Seemingly stationary.
mired in insanity
I am....
a whirlpool of thoughts
a flash flood of emotions
a prediction of stormy weather ahead
*starcrossed*
stuck in static, I move forward in time but the past hounds me and the future intrudes on the present;
conspirators whispers spread maliciousness.
moments of clarity flash like lightening, briefly illuminating but highlighting exactly how dark black can be.
a noxious cloud of uncertainty and doubts suck the optimism out of me.
society, polluted and dragged down by those with money and do nothing with it
education, a catchphrase of the political; in reality an illusion
action, a figment of imagination which people pretend to strive for but never achieve
parents should be re-educated. shown that they need to produce a generation of global citizens not slacker bums. Who will care if we don't?
Society needs to open its eyes and re-evaluate the currently prevailing mores and values. In a situation where modernization is progressing so slowly we might as well be moving backwards in time, they'd rather preserve their holier-than-thou attitude than actually do something good for the economy/country. When everybody knows that those who can make a difference probably have the worst laundry there is.
And when are people going to realize there are bigger problems than this to be concerned about rather than petty scandals. If they are going to concern themselves with insignificance why not put all that misplaced energy to use and actually protest at the appalling state of things. Really, is the knowing who's who, or who's going out with who, more important than world events? Do we really think if something doesn't affect us personally there wont be any consequences or implications for us? Maybe if there were a semblance of a nightlife here, or if we were able to actually go out and do things in the open rather than furtively, people would mind their own business.... on the other hand maybe not considering that is the culture. Either way it is a comment on the systemic closedmindedness and willful ignorance that I'm forced to experience everyday.
*you think your mind is open.. but it isn't*
slowly, i begin to see the flaws in what i once thought was good and perfect. It isn't a good feeling. I work hard to gain respect and trust, but never seem to get close to gaining it. If i were striving for the heavens, I'm starting to realize what is the point? Might as well get a little closer to hell where it's warm and less judgmental. What does it take to prove yourself?
Coz the effort is driving me insane.
love me and i'll love you =p haha
flashback
It just came to me a while ago that the previous post was incomplete.
Over the KL trip and the last month or so there have been loooaadds of... 'lessons', if you will. Some ironic. Some hurtful. Some just downright weird and funny. Here's a few:
When pursuing what appears to be single girls in the club, don't hesitate to go for it. However, in the event that males who are so obviously their significant others make an appearance, do not hesitate to abort the mission. =p Trust your instincts, just like rats will jump ship at the first signs of imminent doom, so should you in this given situation.
Some signs of inevitable failure are if the girls do not gyrate to your rhythm or do not show any interest. Another obvious one is if they start to dance with people they seem to be very familiar with. Easy enough signals to read, receive and react on unless you are a certain somebody. =D
Oh yes, and if your friends start to get horrified looks on their face, thats also another sign that things are not going well and an immediate withdrawal should be made hehe
Another one is (though some of the principles given above can be used) do not let guys/girls deceive you with pretty words and persuasive/seductive actions. If they do not include you in their life, or give it to you straight, its best to just cut your losses asap and start looking for someone new. There is absolutely no point in lingering over what is obviously a losing battle in the first place. I urge anyone to just get straight to the point, face the issue and find out the truth. If the other person shies away or gives a crappy, all over the pace, wishy washy answer... just forget it. You know what you want. If they don't, thats their problem. Wish them well and get the hell away. Some things are just not worth it.
When you find what you want, or find something good, hold on to it. Whatever it takes. oh yeah, honesty is usually always the best policy. =p works for me haha
There's also no use in waiting for fun to come to you, you make things fun.
err... hmm.. can't be bothered to think anymore.. haha
Stay in school and be thankful everyday =p
wuuuuvvvv 678
behind the vertigo
vertigo: a dizzying sensation of tilting within stable surroundings or of being in tilting or spinning surroundings
summer has yet to peak, but I've already reached vertiginous heights from which I never want to come back down from.
kick-started the summer with a short trip to KL....
note to self: next time bring own towel....
learnt a few things....
like how to rough it haha though that is debatable considering i brought my own hair straightener but still... no separate shower cubicle in the bathroom??? unexpected..unexperienced... and.. oh yes, next time i should bring sandals in the event i should come across this again. Thank god i came away from the experience without athletes foot or some other yucky fungus....
and something that puzzled me was the fact that a brand new club had squatting toilets... =S
crossed a few things off my "To-do list" ;)
one of which was.. how does it feel to have a severe allergic reaction which really, was quite interesting; the whole difficulty in breathing and blurry vision was sorta scary sorta compelling. Rushed to a clinic, after puking my guts out by some taxis, got a jab and some meds and i was good to go.. haha.. i still don't know what did that to me tho.. hmm....
the rest of the "to-do list" is under a strict *what happens in KL stays in KL* policy.. unless you ask me and I'm ok with telling you ;) haha
well.. overall the trip was one huge adventure and thats all that counts...
after that things just got better n better... got accepted into Bristol...
while the parents are away, the cat will play ;)
out and about
doing what i can
falling, tumbling, freewheeling into happiness
=D
uuhh.... what?
mind's kinda outta there in the nowhere and everywhere
if you know what i mean....
as another one bites the dust I have the next 2hrs to sit and contemplate the why's, what for's and all the other touchy feely stuff that comes to mind when you have a long drive ahead...
i live in my head too much
somebody bring me out into the 'real' world...
Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
those questions seem better off not being answered really...
so ill finish off with a little bit of Mika attitude
I got to be wholesome
I coud be loathsome
Guess i'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?
despite the melancholy im actually alright.. better than alright =D
more on KL later where it was all about the adventure and experience...;)
~determined to not worry and to be happy~
NEWSFLASH
LOLITA GOES LOCO!!!
The police believe that China Doll Loli is the alter-ego of law-abiding Didi Ahmad. The authorities are still trying to piece together the events that led to the rampage of today but believe her retreat into another personality to be a result of victimization, of social pressure and unwanted advice. Meanwhile, the carnage continues as all otaku and men succumb to their lolita complexes and join her army for world domination.
Her demands are simple. Surrender or die. America has spearheaded the counter-assault, assuming automatic control of the world's armed forces in normal arrogant fashion. However, the growing anime and manga fanbase around the world is increasing at an exponential rate and some justifiably fear for their lives. Should China Doll Loli's takeover be successful the world as we know it could be altered forever. Political analysts and experts foresee either total anarchy or an extent of dictatorship unknown and not experienced in all history, even challenging American domination in the present.
People are warned to stay away from China Doll Loli a.k.a Didi Ahmad and to be aware of which personality they are approaching if they should meet. China Doll Loli typically has bangs and straight hair, and sports various Lolita looks according to mood. If approached by a goth-lolita please proceed carefully and stay calm. If confronted by a sweet loli do not be alarmed, but do not let your guard down. If she shows signs of rage, it is possible to appease her with chocolate or other confectionery. Didi Ahmad, on the other hand, can also be dangerous but is more likely to stay calm rather than attack. She has a side-parting and usually wears t-shirts and jeans. Authorities warn that she is very unstable, however, and that there is a possibility of other personalities making an appearance.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:possible headlines should my parents infuriate me tonight beyond reason
Cost of bravery
note to self: you don't always have to be brave =p
I don't really know what to say... i got a haircut.
does the fact that I haven't put up a pic mean something?
It's one of those situations where you sort of knew what you wanted, and when you get it you're not sure if you should've gone for it. There I was, in the chair, given a choice between being conventional and taking a risk. Any girl will understand that 'the chair' and 'the choice' can mean life or death (social that is) and 'the choice' shouldn't be taken lightly. if not, things can quickly become a nightmare. Everyone fears coming out of that chair with regret and with no option but to cry and wear a hat. I have the same fear. But I'm the sort of person who, when someone says don't go for it, I do. Just for the hell of it (except for shaving my head, its not worth the grief I'd get). I'm also not one to keep my hair the same way as it was before just because it's the best way to do it. Convention and boring be damned. I wanted something new and I got it..=S
However, I was strangely calm. Giovanni, my hairstylist, was nice. Didn't chat too much but enough. Gave me his opinion, I gave mine. And then we got down to the business, me only slightly quaking in my boots. There were harrowing moments, but in the end I came out of the ordeal relatively unscathed. Anyway, I've got it out of my system now; no longer will I wonder what I would look like with bangs and can cross that off my To-do list (it had been there for awhile and was really bugging me actually). Not sure if I love it or hate it yet.
Can i pull it off? Will my already fragile ego and self-esteem hold up against criticism? Did being brave pay off?
.
.
.
.
.
No
.
.
.
Maybe. Possibly. Either way I have to live with it 'til it grows out. Not taking crap from anyone. =p I'm brave and I don't have to be, but I am. The costs this time are debatable, but I'd rather be brave than boring.
China doll cute/Japanese quirky comin' Brunei's way next week.. watch out!
I don't feel like 'Didi' though..... haha
Updating.....
*I went to the MCM Expo and all i got was a plush hat with ears*
....JK.. hehe
i got more than a hat =p
the MCM Expo was... bizaarreee... so many ppl.. so many skimpy/tight outfits...
the smell of hair gel was thick in the air... among other things.. =S ;) haha
45mins was all it took for me to wish i was away from the place.. sooo tired walking around....sooo crowded.. but i persevered! and im glad i did coz i got the most PERFECT birthday gift for my bestest fwen in the woild...
oh .. and i really did get the hat with the pointed ears.. i couldn't help myself. 1 word = KAAWWAAIIII
wat else was kawai was the lil boy in the pic.. joke for those looking for free hugs fr this girl.. i dunno wat it is about these conventions but there sure were loads of kids goin round giving *free hugs*.. since when hugs actually cost sumn elsewhere is beyond me haha i was a victim of a free hug mob... hav a pic of the cheeky buggers but cnt be bothered to put it up =D
it was an interesting experience.. next time.. ill cosplay ;) haha who's with me??!
that was followed by a very crappy week in which my anticipation at turning 22 dissipated somewhat due to a few totally uncalled for comments from certain individuals....
however.. Nadal continues his winning streak in France.. =D hehe lookin oh so good in green..
Celtics vs Lakers in the NBA ..
but anyway.. my birthday was a blast =D.. even tho i celebrated early which kind of took the meaning out of it. it was still FUUUN.. and anyway it was like i was celebrating Tina's birthday haha.. ;) Thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday haha.. it was surprising how many actually did... this yr's birthday felt good..
i really liked the club The End... its awesome.. ppl if ur in London check it out haha
the company was good.. the shots were good *nyuummyy*.. it was all good =)
now im 22.. and its my actual birthday day.... I was treated to the dulcet tones of my dad's voice over the fone singing the Birthday song haha and got taken to lunch to Mandarin Kitchen in Bayswater with my toks n Lisa.. (ppl if ur in London u gotta check this place out and eat the steamed King Scallops.. nyyaammaann!)
me-time tonite... im due for a good pampering anyway. u gotta love alone time...
i've decided i love surprises.. well good ones.. not bad ones *obviously*
it just adds something extra to the humdrum of everyday life.. =p and when its sumn good.. it just makes u feel soooo good..
I had a good birth-day this yr..
Lookin fwd to making the rest of the yr as awesome as possible.
Making myself get out there n do things i haven't done.. (e.g like the anime convention) =D
and generally enjoying life.
Always smiling... =)
rawr*
life..or karma.. has proven once again that it is an arbitrary bitch
totally tripped me up and threw me for a loop
fell flat on my face... but it seems no one realized or even noticed so that's ok =p
so i've picked myself up off the ground n dusted myself off
now in the process of moving on...
world's weirdness is getting to me
retreating into anti-social mode
dwindling patience for abrasive people
i ain't no super-person k
never said i was, never will be
plus side: i have discovered Carl Hiaasen. ~satire at its best~
indulging in: cupcakes with super sweet frosting.. yum...
thoughts on: Hunk of the month/week...[ladies.. let me know what you think ;) ]
Nadal win over Djokovic.. plays Federer tomorrow for the Hamburg Cup.. Cmon Nadal!
Boston Celtics.. wtf.. get a grip and beat those Cavaliers...
procrastination mode
so bleh my bleh-ness has blehs... haha.. screw the uni, hello to bumsville
Let me be
=D no worries
life's lessons
10 reasons why being the eldest child is relevant to your CV/resume as a skill:
1. You are comfortable with being the "Go-To" person: everyone in your family feels comfortable asking you to do anything and everything that they should be capable of doing themselves and can therefore handle anything that comes your way with ease; from booking airplane tickets to babysitting
2. You have been in a position of responsibility practically your whole life
3. You are able to subdue personal interest/wishes for the greater good: team player; willing to take a hit for the team (predicated on years of covering up for siblings and trying to make your parents happy)
4. Management of staff would be a breeze after your life-long stint as arbitrator between siblings-siblings/siblings-parents (only relevant if you were part of a big family haha)
--> good interpersonal/inter-office skills; navigation of office politics with ease
5. This also leads to Good Communication Skills (especially in my case where I am frequently called upon to give bad news to siblings or relay messages between family members =p coz daddy is too wimpy to do it himself, which will obviously come in handy for when the time comes for me to fire someone)
6. You bring new meaning to the world reliable (mostly coz if you don't prove you're reliable you get into trouble or make it harder on yourself to be able to get away with anything which is officially harder for an eldest child)... which leads to:
7. Skilled at intrigue: not that you would put this on your CV but it must come in handy sometime right? >< good poker face perhaps..? hehe
8. Good at filling out forms: from all those time you have to fill in everyone's immigration forms for them hehe... which also means maybe good at forgery...? ;)
9. Policy of Appeasement: well-versed in the art of compromise
10. Age shouldn't be a factor as you are wise beyond your years haha!
Ok... so the last few were just fluffy but being the eldest should definitely give you an edge over other applicants =p just because we deserve it... =D hehe
Quote of the day: Ammarah: "Careful mommy...poo poo drop"
---> message taken from this: take care or the shit will hit the fan...... or the floor.. either way things will get messy ;)
issues n tissues
I cannot for the life of me understand why people think its better to be so emo over everything
unfortunately it seems to be a growing trend nowadays... to be emo
even if you don't dress/talk/behave like the typical 'emo',
lurking inside most people you'll be able to find the mentality of an 'emo' just waiting for some drama to take advantage of
and when the shit hits the fan, thats when the 'emo-ness' strikes and takes over like a body-snatcher
or people seem to have decided that being all sensitive and crap is just better
let those feelings out
~show the whole world how you feel!! who cares bout what other people think?! scream if you have to~ =p
personally i feel that guys who are too sensitive.. might as well be gay.. i want a MAN.. not a boy... and certainly not someone who's wishy washy and softer than myself =p
apart from that why is being so sensitive and showing your emotions so good?
What happened to good old fashioned stoicism.. y'kno there IS a diff between expressing your feelings and completely making a scene...and what is wrong with stoicism anyway?
pushing your emotions onto others isnt exactly that pleasant either
and under most circumstances just serves to embarrass yourself.. wouldn't we all be better served by showing some rationality and self-control? =p
As for showing everyone how we feel.. not everyone wants to know how you feel
on a whole other random note..
I also cannot understand, and maybe i refuse to, why people are so obsessed with how other ppl think of them n stuff like that
i can't stand the concept of a diet... except when absolutely necessary.. and i can't stand people who do not appreciate food like they should.
like most things in our lives that we take for granted.. food is actually a luxury.. and shouldn't be taken for granted
yet so many people would rather starve themselves to death just for the sake of losing weight or apparently looking good..
sacrificing the utter pleasure of food just so that other people will compliment you seems to be abit pathetic and sad..
food is one of the best things in life..
looking good and being skinny doesn't even register on my scale of important things..
it shouldn't matter so much
and yes this post can be construed as a complete rant at things i'm not happy with, which in part it is, but i felt it had to be said =p
n who asked you to read? ;) hahah
Gemini's rule!
woohoo!!!! GO NADAL!!
kicked Federer's ASS today at the Monte Carlo Masters.. hehehe...
and yes.. he is a Gemini..
born 3rd June 1986.. only 2 days after me huhuhu..
6'1..solid muscle.. tanned....with a great ass HAHA
whether in celebration, in action or in victory.. he damn fiinneee.. ;)
real MEN play tennis.. hehehe
can't quite believe it was a walkover for Federer in the semi's vs Djokovic =( buu...
incidentally... Djokovic himself is a Gemini muahaha...May 22nd 1987.. younger than me.. sigh.. am i old or wat.. =p
n how awesome are Gemini's =p
status: bored n consequently being lecherous *haha*
| Being a Gemini: ~Adaptable and versatile~ *Communicative and witty* Intellectual and eloquentYouthful and lively | |
| Gemini Likes: talking, novelty, variety, anything unusual and working on multiple projects at the same time. Gemini Dislikes: being alone, being in a rut, mental inaction, conventional learning and feeling tied down. | |
heh.. random random...
right now...
If i close my eyes and use every ounce of willpower i have to disregard all sensory input i could conceivably think i'm at the beach
I can hear clearly the rhythmic crash and thunder of the waves breaking against the shore
the brightness of the sun penetrating my eyelids
.....
except... thats not waves breaking, its the muffled sound of the howling wind outside
the ebb and flow distinctly different from any wave.. intermittent in strength and timing
there are clear skies for once and sun... though i hesitate to say sunshine
and instead of basking in any kind of warmth i'm freezing my ass off... god knows what's happened to the heating...never mind the fact that it's supposed to be spring.. dunno how i've managed to survive 3 winters here.
i long for my duvet... but will have to do with my scarf/shawl for now
*at work*
-1:49pm-
just discovered the fact that the heating was not on... no wonder .. jeez...
...ha...ha
my dad thinks he's so funny...
everyone else thinks he's cool.. (because he thinks he's so funny and acts idiotic)
i think he's just chilling out.. what else can you do after having loads of kids n going through the hormonally-charged days over and over again with no end in sight. It only makes sense that you'd have no choice but to take refuge in childish antics and behaviour laced with adult-isms once in awhile... just to show them who's boss =p haha
An example of the hilariousness that is my dad:
The Setting: Msn conversation, negotiating flight plans back home. Dad desperately trying to delay it; me desperately trying to convince him. BUT i have an ace reason - trip to KL/KK third week of June which he encouraged me to organize now. (n damn its gunna be awesome =p)
ai says: (1:45:39 PM)
how about [doing the trip] in aug?:p <--- yes he does use smileys.. you have no idea...
Me says: (1:45:43 PM)
... err.. no :p
ai says: (1:49:51 PM)
doesn't seem that you guys have actually made any firm plans yet..*-) <---- adult eye-rolling
Me says: (1:50:07 PM)
we hv firm plans to go sumwhere :p
ai says: (1:50:37 PM)
i bet those firm plans may end up being empire hotel...hahahahahahaha <---- notice how much he's laughing at his own joke and the utter glee at the thought that the trip might not happen
Me says: (1:50:59 PM)
yeh rite.. u wish
ai says: (1:51:53 PM)
not i wish..i know..coz there's nuthin firmed up yet..u guys can't even decide on d venue!:-*
Me says: (1:52:06 PM)
:P:p we're taking a vote now
ai says: (1:52:35 PM)
will the results take as long as the results for zimbabwe elections..hahaha <--- display of adult knowledge intended humorously if a bit condescendingly done *hmf*
Me says: (1:53:00 PM)
:P:p ha ha daddy
It was a thoroughly amusing yet annoying conversation. Atleast my parents keep me amused from time to time i suppose.. haha.. =p
and as much as id love to give you more to laugh about or give u reason to thank god that your dad isn't like mine (or wish that yours is) I think my willpower has built up sufficiently to carry through the intention of going to gym... =S unfortunately..
torture... ugh..
Go Me!
show me
digging this song.. well im digging loads of songs right now.. top 5 to your right ;)
but this one works on so many levels its amazing..=p with a sweet ass melody..
take a peek:
I realized as I lay down to sleep
We haven't spoke in weeks
So many things that i'd like to know
Come have a talk with me
I need a sign, something i can see
Why all the mystery?
I try not to fall for make believe
But what is reality?
Where do we go? What do we know?
Life has to have a meaning
Show me the light
Show me the way
Show that you're listening
Yeah.. you got me.. I just have nothing worth blogging about and am damn bored.. hahah..
but it is a sweet song
chill out
bring the melodrama
there's something infinitely lonely about big cities...
all those people, behind so many closed doors and windows,
a multitude of unknown stories and mysteries hidden within a huge web of lives that interact and disengage at chance
such is the drama of life
long spells of boredom and insignificance; punctuated with brief moments of exhilaration - scandalous or of sheer fun
having a complete dry spell here of the latter... =p
which isn't entirely unexpected, since it came on the heels of an interval packed with dramatics:
1. [apparently] missing sister, which caused no end of panic; on my dad's side, worry and extreme distress at not being able to contact her for a week. On my side, extreme dismay at the threat of my dad calling out the cavalry for her and having to hastily cover my ass in the event he found out she was in switzerland and that i blatantly lied. Well, people call missing persons after 24hours, my dad's reaction was only to be expected. =S It all got resolved to the satisfaction of [mostly] everyone, panic abated, and she was on the first plane home without my dad any the wiser and said sister clueless as to why such concern manifested. =S
2. Having to fend off nasty, sleazy, proposals which were absolutely disgusting and completely unwelcome. Honestly, some people just do not get the hint no matter how many times u shoot 'em down.
3. Certain revelations were made which unfortunately i cannot disclose here =D but were of an entirely scintillating nature.. haha..
well ok.. not that much drama really, but i did have an awfully 'fun' time in Brunei before i got here and became jobless (when i'm not in the grip of the urge to shop my ass off)... needless to say number 1 probably gave me more gray hairs and was quite enough drama for me...
work due to start on Monday... well, the sooner i start the sooner i can get back...
rainy weather continues in London, no doubt the cause of my continued diminished health =p
with no end to sight but i soldier on [haha]
randomly.. i am getting soooo tired of Get Low by Flo Rida and T-Pain...
Audeo [I dare]
what's the deal..?
aah... its back to sleepless nights, and sleep-filled days..
feels good...
....nah, not really... but what the hey... gotta make the best of things..
least i re-joined the gym today hehe.. hardcore kickboxing classes here i come! attackers and harrassers beware!
was thinking 'bout how loads of people have been saying i've changed...
How i'm not scared anymore,
Commentin on my different taste in music and new un-fussy(ish) attitude towards food
How i seem to be having fun for the very first time.. (=S, this was a mystery, i mean cmon.. anyone could c i know how to party rite.. =p haha )
so why the change..?
well.. hmm..
i made a conscious decision to just have fun, and since then i've been having fun, go figure haha
I got fed up with the pragmatic routines of life...which everyone kept telling me i kept worrying far too much about
and decided that it's my responsibility to make sure that i enjoy this transient experience of innocence (>_0) and joy that is my twenties while i still can =p haha
and honestly, what is there to be scared of?? really, reflecting on it, what can my parents do to me?
it's been a real eye-opener haha.. and the rest of the year is set to be... pretty AWESOME!
everybody better cooperate with my vision..who's with me?!?!? *say yeaaaa*
get ready to paarttaayyyy this summer!
self psycho-analysis is fun.. shoulda taken psychology..
ok.. lower back is killin me.. gtg =D
illin' out
London seems to always inspire certain parts of my personality to rise to the forefront
I indulge my homebody tendencies; become a hermit
the weather - cold, wet, sunless - and the exchange rate both conspire to keep me indoors and to myself
but it's alright i suppose..
it has to get warm sometime... right?
and introspective periods are always good for the soul =p or so i've heard
*bleh*
doesn't help that i'm practically forced into anti-social behavior becoz im ill.. seriously, very, ill. Though I'm hoping it's only a 24hr bug...
London really isn't good for me =p
Suspended somewhere between dull pain and insensibility, in a torpor of self-negligence, there is nothing left for me to do but engage in a slow drift of association. The minutes accumulating like snow blanking the streets, cool and detached from the unfolding drama of the world; its slow progress at odds with my wish for a faster pace. The moments - before, now and in the future - as tangible as the flakes gathering. As soon as I remember, attempt to recall with vividity, it melts away to a new scene or thought. Too many to hold on to... too tainted with plural perceptions to be sure of. What really happened?
One could drown in all the irrelevance while trying to find that one connection of import.
and... back to reality, albeit dulled with a haze of pain =p and few intermissions of clarity.
someone"s got to do the bills n watnot ;)
surviving
..holding on...
for those bright summer days an sultry nights
summer better b awesome.
Inauguration
it seems fitting that the first post in this brand-spanking-new blog is about the inaugural flight of that big ass airbus that Singapore airlines now has.
There i was... kinda excited to be sitting on the top deck since i'd never done that before..
though that kinda dissipated as the huge crowd waitin to board came into view..
only to find out.. i'm not on the top deck =p hmf... i was stuck in 'econ-no-money', as my granddad likes to call it, while my granddad and dad were on the top deck in business class. Typical. Dunno why i was surprised.. haha.. ah well
but to be honest, it wasn't like i was that psyched anyway... i mean c'mon.. wats the big deal? sure its huge... and it was it's first flight ever... and its huge.. haha..
at the end of the day it's still an environment-destroying mega machine isn't it?
Perspective, its a funny thing =p
oh apart from that tho.. i was pleasantly surprised at the amount of goodies u get ;)
a laptop bag full of stuff!!! *woohoo* i can sense all those bruneians who just love free stuff turning green with envy =p *nyahahahaha* [i'm lucky.. YOU aren't haha]
the contents: a model airplane (dunno wat i'm gunna do with that but ok); pens (these were really nice tho i have yet to c whether they work ;) haha); a padlock (always useful =p); err... im guessing the others weren't that impressive or worth remembering coz i can't recall anything else.. either that or there wasn't anything else haha..
the ones in business class were really lucky.. everything was the same except for the bag which was from Mandarina Duck [if u kno the brand you'll know its expensive =p].. damn did they splash out or wat?
ooohh and we got a certificate.. big whoop!! haha.. wow.. who knew just flying could get you certified.. as wat i wonder..?? a certified passenger/flyer/carbon footprint carrier? haha..
and you HAD to take a photo before you boarded.. you can imagine how thrilled i was in my sweat pants and way huge SOAS hoodie, hair a mess of course, to be taking a photo..
well ok.. i suppose it was more roomier, and quieter.. and the food was better than usual haha
and COLD... it was freezing in there.. i think i was colder in the plane than when i got out of the airport in London... =S
all in all.. it was quite anticlimactic really.. haha.. if you saw the tv show on it you mite catch me on it sleeping... =S
can't believe people actually paid for a ticket just to go on this inaugural flight and then go back home the same day.. can everybody say *waste of money and contribution to greenhouse gases* with me?? haha..
anywayz.. this has gone on long enuff... lets just say that.. it was a non-experience haha.. =D but a good non-experience.. if that makes any sense..
I arrived in London safe and sound.. albeit reluctantly.. and am currently missing everyone in Brunei ..
stay tuned to find out the unfolding drama in London ;)