issues n tissues

I cannot for the life of me understand why people think its better to be so emo over everything
unfortunately it seems to be a growing trend nowadays... to be emo
even if you don't dress/talk/behave like the typical 'emo',
lurking inside most people you'll be able to find the mentality of an 'emo' just waiting for some drama to take advantage of
and when the shit hits the fan, thats when the 'emo-ness' strikes and takes over like a body-snatcher
or people seem to have decided that being all sensitive and crap is just better
let those feelings out
~show the whole world how you feel!! who cares bout what other people think?! scream if you have to~ =p
personally i feel that guys who are too sensitive.. might as well be gay.. i want a MAN.. not a boy... and certainly not someone who's wishy washy and softer than myself =p
apart from that why is being so sensitive and showing your emotions so good?
What happened to good old fashioned stoicism.. y'kno there IS a diff between expressing your feelings and completely making a scene...and what is wrong with stoicism anyway?
pushing your emotions onto others isnt exactly that pleasant either
and under most circumstances just serves to embarrass yourself.. wouldn't we all be better served by showing some rationality and self-control? =p
As for showing everyone how we feel.. not everyone wants to know how you feel

on a whole other random note..
I also cannot understand, and maybe i refuse to, why people are so obsessed with how other ppl think of them n stuff like that
i can't stand the concept of a diet... except when absolutely necessary.. and i can't stand people who do not appreciate food like they should.
like most things in our lives that we take for granted.. food is actually a luxury.. and shouldn't be taken for granted
yet so many people would rather starve themselves to death just for the sake of losing weight or apparently looking good..
sacrificing the utter pleasure of food just so that other people will compliment you seems to be abit pathetic and sad..
food is one of the best things in life..
looking good and being skinny doesn't even register on my scale of important things..
it shouldn't matter so much

and yes this post can be construed as a complete rant at things i'm not happy with, which in part it is, but i felt it had to be said =p
n who asked you to read? ;) hahah

Gemini's rule!

the King of the Clay courts does it again..
woohoo!!!! GO NADAL!!
kicked Federer's ASS today at the Monte Carlo Masters.. hehehe...

and yes.. he is a Gemini..
born 3rd June 1986.. only 2 days after me huhuhu..
6'1..solid muscle.. tanned....with a great ass HAHA
whether in celebration, in action or in victory.. he damn fiinneee.. ;)







real MEN play tennis.. hehehe
can't quite believe it was a walkover for Federer in the semi's vs Djokovic =( buu...
incidentally... Djokovic himself is a Gemini muahaha...May 22nd 1987.. younger than me.. sigh.. am i old or wat.. =p
n how awesome are Gemini's =p

status: bored n consequently being lecherous *haha*

Being a Gemini: ~Adaptable and versatile~ *Communicative and witty* Intellectual and eloquent Youthful and lively
Gemini Likes: talking, novelty, variety, anything unusual and working on multiple projects at the same time. Gemini Dislikes: being alone, being in a rut, mental inaction, conventional learning and feeling tied down.

heh.. random random...

right now...

If i close my eyes and use every ounce of willpower i have to disregard all sensory input i could conceivably think i'm at the beach

I can hear clearly the rhythmic crash and thunder of the waves breaking against the shore
the brightness of the sun penetrating my eyelids

.....


except... thats not waves breaking, its the muffled sound of the howling wind outside
the ebb and flow distinctly different from any wave.. intermittent in strength and timing
there are clear skies for once and sun... though i hesitate to say sunshine
and instead of basking in any kind of warmth i'm freezing my ass off... god knows what's happened to the heating...never mind the fact that it's supposed to be spring.. dunno how i've managed to survive 3 winters here.

i long for my duvet... but will have to do with my scarf/shawl for now
*at work*

-1:49pm-
just discovered the fact that the heating was not on... no wonder .. jeez...

...ha...ha

my dad thinks he's so funny...
everyone else thinks he's cool.. (because he thinks he's so funny and acts idiotic)
i think he's just chilling out.. what else can you do after having loads of kids n going through the hormonally-charged days over and over again with no end in sight. It only makes sense that you'd have no choice but to take refuge in childish antics and behaviour laced with adult-isms once in awhile... just to show them who's boss =p haha

An example of the hilariousness that is my dad:

The Setting: Msn conversation, negotiating flight plans back home. Dad desperately trying to delay it; me desperately trying to convince him. BUT i have an ace reason - trip to KL/KK third week of June which he encouraged me to organize now. (n damn its gunna be awesome =p)

ai says: (1:45:39 PM)
how about [doing the trip] in aug?:p <--- yes he does use smileys.. you have no idea...

Me says: (1:45:43 PM)
... err.. no :p

ai says: (1:49:51 PM)
doesn't seem that you guys have actually made any firm plans yet..*-) <---- adult eye-rolling

Me says: (1:50:07 PM)
we hv firm plans to go sumwhere :p

ai says: (1:50:37 PM)
i bet those firm plans may end up being empire hotel...hahahahahahaha <---- notice how much he's laughing at his own joke and the utter glee at the thought that the trip might not happen

Me says: (1:50:59 PM)
yeh rite.. u wish

ai says: (1:51:53 PM)
not i wish..i know..coz there's nuthin firmed up yet..u guys can't even decide on d venue!:-*

Me says: (1:52:06 PM)
:P:p we're taking a vote now

ai says: (1:52:35 PM)
will the results take as long as the results for zimbabwe elections..hahaha <--- display of adult knowledge intended humorously if a bit condescendingly done *hmf*

Me says: (1:53:00 PM)
:P:p ha ha daddy

It was a thoroughly amusing yet annoying conversation. Atleast my parents keep me amused from time to time i suppose.. haha.. =p
and as much as id love to give you more to laugh about or give u reason to thank god that your dad isn't like mine (or wish that yours is) I think my willpower has built up sufficiently to carry through the intention of going to gym... =S unfortunately..
torture... ugh..
Go Me!

show me

digging this song.. well im digging loads of songs right now.. top 5 to your right ;)
but this one works on so many levels its amazing..=p with a sweet ass melody..
take a peek:

I realized as I lay down to sleep
We haven't spoke in weeks
So many things that i'd like to know
Come have a talk with me
I need a sign, something i can see
Why all the mystery?
I try not to fall for make believe
But what is reality?
Where do we go? What do we know?
Life has to have a meaning
Show me the light
Show me the way
Show that you're listening

Yeah.. you got me.. I just have nothing worth blogging about and am damn bored.. hahah..
but it is a sweet song
chill out

bring the melodrama

there's something infinitely lonely about big cities...
all those people, behind so many closed doors and windows,
a multitude of unknown stories and mysteries hidden within a huge web of lives that interact and disengage at chance

such is the drama of life
long spells of boredom and insignificance; punctuated with brief moments of exhilaration - scandalous or of sheer fun
having a complete dry spell here of the latter... =p
which isn't entirely unexpected, since it came on the heels of an interval packed with dramatics:

1. [apparently] missing sister, which caused no end of panic; on my dad's side, worry and extreme distress at not being able to contact her for a week. On my side, extreme dismay at the threat of my dad calling out the cavalry for her and having to hastily cover my ass in the event he found out she was in switzerland and that i blatantly lied. Well, people call missing persons after 24hours, my dad's reaction was only to be expected. =S It all got resolved to the satisfaction of [mostly] everyone, panic abated, and she was on the first plane home without my dad any the wiser and said sister clueless as to why such concern manifested. =S

2. Having to fend off nasty, sleazy, proposals which were absolutely disgusting and completely unwelcome. Honestly, some people just do not get the hint no matter how many times u shoot 'em down.

3. Certain revelations were made which unfortunately i cannot disclose here =D but were of an entirely scintillating nature.. haha..

well ok.. not that much drama really, but i did have an awfully 'fun' time in Brunei before i got here and became jobless (when i'm not in the grip of the urge to shop my ass off)... needless to say number 1 probably gave me more gray hairs and was quite enough drama for me...
work due to start on Monday... well, the sooner i start the sooner i can get back...
rainy weather continues in London, no doubt the cause of my continued diminished health =p
with no end to sight but i soldier on [haha]

randomly.. i am getting soooo tired of Get Low by Flo Rida and T-Pain...

new motto: Begin as you mean to go on and do not look back. No sniveling, no quivering.
Audeo [I dare]

can't wait to wreak some havoc in Brunei ;)

what's the deal..?

aah... its back to sleepless nights, and sleep-filled days..
feels good...
....nah, not really... but what the hey... gotta make the best of things..
least i re-joined the gym today hehe.. hardcore kickboxing classes here i come! attackers and harrassers beware!

was thinking 'bout how loads of people have been saying i've changed...
How i'm not scared anymore,
Commentin on my different taste in music and new un-fussy(ish) attitude towards food
How i seem to be having fun for the very first time.. (=S, this was a mystery, i mean cmon.. anyone could c i know how to party rite.. =p haha )

so why the change..?
well.. hmm..
i made a conscious decision to just have fun, and since then i've been having fun, go figure haha
I got fed up with the pragmatic routines of life...which everyone kept telling me i kept worrying far too much about
and decided that it's my responsibility to make sure that i enjoy this transient experience of innocence (>_0) and joy that is my twenties while i still can =p haha
and honestly, what is there to be scared of?? really, reflecting on it, what can my parents do to me?
it's been a real eye-opener haha.. and the rest of the year is set to be... pretty AWESOME!
everybody better cooperate with my vision..who's with me?!?!? *say yeaaaa*
get ready to paarttaayyyy this summer!

self psycho-analysis is fun.. shoulda taken psychology..
ok.. lower back is killin me.. gtg =D