journeying along

"half of my heart's got a grip on the situation Half of my heart takes time" (John Mayer - Half of my heart)

gotta take that time now

to get my heart to the other side...attraversiamo!

to find myself..my word.. my inner peace;

gonne eat love and pray my way out of the shit, whatever it takes

 [in case u didnt know, this 'Eat Love Pray' is a brilliant book b Elizabeth Gilbert its a must read!]

mommy's advice

my mom's words of wisdom are awesomely.... strange i suppose u could say:

"when it comes to shopping i don't care anymore what the price is, I don't even look at the price. if i like it i get it. how expensive can it be?? 1000? 2000? as long as its under $3000 i'll get it because i like it. "

ahaha should i apply this to my shopping experiences?? hmm mebbe when i actually get a job =p

Defining the problem

staying back late at work.. i found a colleague's book of poetry by Wendy Cope..

this poem stood out to me:

I can't forgive you. Even if I could,

You wouldn't pardon me for seeing through you.

And yet I cannot cure myself of love

For what I thought you were before I knew you.

hits the nail right on the head

sittin in an office.. alone but not alone.

melancholy steals over me and I lose myself to my daydreams of what once was.

Mental spring cleaning

It's now April, and I've been working for a month plus.

I've discovered the little irritants that come with the territory of work, and I like to think I've adjusted pretty well minus a few hiccups here and there.

F1 exhibition was a nightmare that, like all nightmares, passed me by. So many things went wrong, yet I still preferred that kind of work to the everyday humdrum that I now have to deal with.

Berita Harian makes me zone out.

As always my brain refuses to stop working, and I reckon I've got what is called delayed sleep syndrome.

Twitter and Stumble have given me so much interesting stuff to look at (lol) so I'm digging that right now. Expanding my mind, knowledge and viewpoint on the world.

I've had to confront the fact that I'm not the nice person I thought I was... and I've resolved to try harder to be a better person.

I still wish I was that little bit smarter, quicker, friendlier.. whatever.

What this all amounts to is that:

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion"

Jack Kerouac

And I think this state will continue for awhile, so no one should expect so much from me. I shouldn't expect too much from me until I sort that out. Do i want to sort this out? Sort of... not really... I don't know. haha...

I just want to be happy.

i think i'll be happiest at home for now....

Mental spring cleaning {Work In Progress}...stay tuned to see if i'll ever find a goal or purpose in life =p

n

f1: the race to get it all done

So Petronas are doing an exhibition at F1 here in M'sia...

and I hv the torturous privilege of aiding them in this endeavour..

it is not going well at all.

It is this Saturday and I feel like we're somewhere near finished but not quite where we wanna be.

Things are missing, client doesn't like some of the things. Things are getting cancelled.

God... please don't make me stay in the office til 5am tonight...

I still haven't made up my mind whether I'd like to continue to work here..

Sometimes i think that i could dig it.

Other times I think i'd prefer to do something more worthwhile for the world..

or... be an event planner instead

or..... marry a rich guy and forget about work =p lol

Most of the time i think i should stick it out til the end of one of my projects which i started fr the very beginning.

But we'll c.

I get through the day by thinking about how when I get home I'm just going to shower, change and dive into bed.

Got to try not to open up the computer tonight.

One stop trip to sleep =p

Paranoia

*i'm making a list, i'm checkin it twice..i'm paranoid about gettin it wrong a 2nd time*

following my first few errors at work, I'm goin to be so anal abt what i send off from my email that i'll probly be checkin attachments 3 times before i feel comfortable sending it off

personally i think certain people should learn how to communicate more effectively and politely otherwise there will continually be problems... but thats just my opinion =p

im not made for work lol
i do not suffer fools and men who are up themselves gladly
god i hate early mornings

which is why i hv to rant on here =p

bleh. the working life.

due diligence

soo.. here i am at my new workplace.. new job... n things are going slowly..
which i think is a good thing
im struggling with the idea tht my family has its place in history yet what
am i doing with my life to ensure tht this 'tradition' (if you will) continues...
im not particularly ambitious. But what do u do when people expect so much
from you?
Live up to their expectations.. or yours?
bleh....
well.. things here at Ova are friendly thank god...
though have you ever noticed how much time is spent on waiting?
waiting for that copy to come in from the designer
waitin for the printout from sum1's desk coz the printer u use is not working
properly
waiting for a call or a message....
stands to reason why i absolutely hate waiting in any part of my life - working or private.
It makes me edgy.. bored.. and worried. Though at work its more bored than anything else.
Waiting wakes my temper in the private parts of my life =p
anyhooo.....

note to self:
1)must get computer fixed.. the buzzing is seriously embarassing when colleagues
come in and need to do sumn on comp.. lol
2) buy some nice earbuds so that i cn listen to music during downtime
3) get some sleep when its possible.. waking up early is such a bitch =p
4) finish book on designing brand identity so when the shit hits the fan i'll be
semi-prepared haha

my life is a blessing = new mantra

Personal Branding
"Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be heard marketer for the brand called You."
- Tom Peters

need to bury the castle

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find

Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic

- brick by boring brick - Paramore

thats how i feel..
only the fairy tale is just a mockery of the reality that i live in
and nightmares intrude too often
too far but too close...
i live in paradoxes.

deceived myself into lies which i thought were truths
oh well.. thats human nature.

gotta try to be a better person.