h8

I don't usually write hateful negative posts but tonight this is unavoidable
betray me and you automatically become dead to me
I don't need nor deserve people like 'you' in my life
I am done with being nice to people who obviously don't deserve it and are double-sided
When you spew the filth that 'you' do just because you're jealous or inadequate its pathetic
When you talk shit about other people who are obviously a million times better than you, you're just exposing yourself as the bastard, undeserving of any attention or empathy
Lately I've been very good at controlling my temper
which is good news for 'you' coz otherwise i wouldn't hesitate to slap the hell out of 'you'
But also... I am done with violence so I'll just cut myself off from your toxicity
and hope that I will never have to speak to or see you ever again.
I don't do this often.. and its sad that I've approached the critical point where I can't take it and will have to take the steps towards erasing 'you' from my life.

i just want to scream.
karma's a bitch and i hope she gets to 'you' soon.

if i don't believe in love...

So many people getting hitched, having babies, recently
I'm partly jealous, but it partly makes me want to run from the whole institution
I used to believe wholeheartedly in it
Lately, however, I've had a rethink of my ideals and beliefs.
While I still believe strongly in the family unit I don't know if i believe in love anymore.. or atleast whether relationships can last forever.
And that impacts on my whole thoughts on the subject.
If love (or relationships) don't last forever then... marriage is definitely a mistake.
It all seems like a paradox really.
I want to believe in forever, being a closet romantic, but my realistic side tells me that its unlikely.

If I don't believe in love nothing will last for me
If I don't believe in love nothing is safe for me
If I don't believe in love nothing is good for me
If I don't believe in love nothing will last for me
If I don't believe in love nothing is left for me
If I don't believe in love nothing is new for me - Dido


Oh well, lots of time to find out
So in the meanwhile:

Calm down, deep breaths
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

I have no control over what happens anyway
We can pray for sunny weather, but that won't stop the rain =)